


Find Me in the Garden, I'll Sow you a New King

by Colorfullyminded



Category: Gravity Falls, Over the Garden Wall (Cartoon)
Genre: But later chapter will have more mature themes, F/F, Gnome King AU, Gnome prince au, Gotta keep some of that mystery, M/M, More characters will be added after they're introduced into the chapters, Right now the first chapters are teen, Slow Burn, pinescone
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-19 13:36:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16535567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colorfullyminded/pseuds/Colorfullyminded
Summary: “May I ask why you’re manhandling my friend?” The man asked, his eyes trained on the gnome Dipper was still currently holding captive. His voice was soft, but there was an obvious authoritativeness as he spoke. This man not only spoke with prestige, his entire presence felt regal; back straight, eyes focused, expression stoic, like a king looking down on his people from high above his throne. Dipper, who was still completely captivated by the newcomer, unconsciously released the gnome in his grasp.“My name is Wirt, and I am prince of the gnomes.”((Pinescone- Gnome Prince/King Au!))





	1. Chapter 1

“Unhand me you dirty brat!”

 

“Big words for a little pest.” Dipper replied, holding the struggling gnome at an arm's length distance.

 

“You! You always try and foil our plans! But you will not succeed this time,” The gnome (Beardy? Barney? Beverly?) continued to thrash futility in the young man's grasp. “Your sister will be ours. She will marry and become our queen!”

 

Dipper rolled his eyes, giving the pathetic gnome a shake, “Listen Burty--”

 

“Bartley!”

 

“Whatever! Listen, you will never, in a million years, marry my sister! She is far too good, and has far higher standards than you gross little lawn ornaments.”

 

The gnome had the audacity to look smug, even as he was being lifted 5 feet off the ground. “You can't protect her forever. One day you will slip up, and that's when we'll strike. We have all the patience, people, and time in the world to make her ours. We live for centuries. Even when she is gray and wrinkled, we will still fight for her hand in marriage, and you will be too weak to fend us off then. Not that we plan to wait so long, after all, we have goals we'd like to achieve in the coming months. I'm just saying we could if we had too. She will be our queen, regardless!”

 

Dipper sighed, muttering to himself, _“You guys are so gross.”_ He said, a little more audibly, “Just give it up Boris--”

 

“Bartley!”

 

“--besides, my sister doesn't need me to protect her, she's perfectly capable of deterring your advances on her own. Like last time, when she tricked your warriors into battling against the Manotaurs, who promptly beat the ever living crap out of you. We still have that recorded by the way, makes for some great family entertainment,” he finished with his own brand of smugness.

 

Bartley snarled, “We have plans. Big plans coming up! You mock us now, but soon we'll be the one having the last laugh. It won't seem so funny when your sister is queen, and you a putrid little servant...or maybe a footstool would be more appropriate.” The gnome grinned maliciously, then swiped threateningly at the air with his tiny claws, though failed to reach anything. Dipper eyed him, unimpressed. The gnome continued, still trying to intimidate, “It would be wise of you not to interfere any longer in our schemes. Lest you want to end up a steaming pile of sh--”

 

Dipper shook him again, effectively cutting him off. “Do I need to get the leaf blower right now?”

 

Bartley paled at the mention of their dreaded weakness, and began to flail more desperately.

 

 _These guys seriously think they're threatening._ Dipper rolled his eyes, shaking the pint sized nuisance like a ring of keys, reveling in his torment, if just a tad.

 

“Excuse me…” Said an unfamiliar voice, right in Dipper's ear.

 

Dipper froze in place, his violent motions momentarily halted by his surprise. He turned around to identify the voice, first noting the man's tall frame. He towered over Dipper and all Dipper could see of him was a navy blue coat and three shiny, gold buttons, reflecting his startled image back at him. Dipper took a quick step back, distancing himself from the intruder. He certainly did not like anyone in his personal space, especially not mysterious figures who whispered in his ear. Now at a safer distance, he looked up, just as the gnome in his arms cried out in jubilation, “Your Majesty!”

 

Dipper didn't catch that though. Not when he was so completely distracted by the person staring back at him.

 

Skin the color of cedar bark, with short, messy sienna hair framed the man's elegant face. His lips were dark and thin, set in a disapproving scowl. Dipper unconsciously licked his lips, then forced his eyes away, heat rising to his cheek when he realized he’d been staring. He stopped short however, when their eyes locked. Coal gray, but alight with stern conviction. Dark eyes that burned so passionately, they might have been made of actual flammable material. Dipper felt his throat constrict. The man's eyes alone could spontaneously combust Dipper.

 

“May I ask why you’re manhandling my friend?” The man asked, his eyes trained on the gnome Dipper was still currently holding captive. His voice was soft, but there was an obvious authoritativeness as he spoke. This man not only spoke with prestige, his entire presence felt regal; back straight, eyes focused, expression stoic, like a king looking down on his people from high above his throne. Dipper, who was still completely captivated by the new comer, unconsciously released the gnome in his grasp. The stranger’s eyes widened in shock as he watched the gnome fall from his great height, a yelp followed by an “oomph” as he splated to the ground.

 

Bartley didn’t stay down very long. As soon as he hit the ground, he was scrambling back up. Rolling over onto his hands and knees he scurried towards the stranger, scampering up his leg until he came to rest on the stranger’s shoulder. From the safety of the man’s shoulder, Bartley gave Dipper a harsh glare, and then emphasised it by sticking his tongue out and blowing a raspberry.

 

The action shook Dipper from his trance, and realizing he’d let (Barry? Burkley? Booger?) go, glared back at the gnome now safely out of reach. He tried addressing the man, “Careful, those little pests are dangerous. You shouldn’t let them climb on you like that.”

 

The man scoffed, “From my perspective, the only dangerous one I saw was you. You had my friend in your hand and were shaking him violently.”

 

Dipper looked away guiltily. “Listen, okay, maybe what I was doing looked kind of bad--” He went back to glaring at the gnome, who was now making taunting faces while the stranger’s focus was on him. He pointed at the gnome. The man looked down just as Dipper said, “But trust me kid. I’ve seen what those guys can do, and they’re nothing but parasitic pipsqueaks! He deserved what I was doing to him!”

 

Bartley looked up at Wirt, eye’s wide in feigned innocence. He even pressed a hand to his chest in disbelief. _The little bastard_ , Dipper thought. He barked back at Dipper, “He’s a Liar! Your majesty, please do not listen to this rancid rapscallion's trickery. You obviously saw how he was mistreating me.”

 

Wirt nodded, and looked back at Dipper, accusingly. “Yes, it as he says. I saw you mistreating my people, so why should I believe anything you say? I know plenty about them, I know very much so that they are not as you claim them to be. But I know nothing of you, so why should I trust what you say over my friends?”

 

“Because they’ve--” Dipper stopped, as if hearing the man’s words for the first time. “I’m sorry, did you say friends? My people? How...how do you know about the gnomes?” He had never seen this guy in Gravity Falls before. There was no way he was a resident, he would have noticed someone so hand--err, unique. So how would this person know anything about these mythical menaces?

 

Wirt tilted his chin up, and said with a boast of confidence. “I know these gnomes, because as I stated earlier. They are my friend’s, my people, my subjects, or to put it more bluntly, they are my family.”

 

Dipper’s eyes widened, “Family!!!”

 

Wirt nodded, reaching over to pat the head of Bartley, who happily leaned into the touch. Wirt regarded the gnome fondly, “Yes, I was raised by the gnomes for as long as I can remember. They are my family, and I am, in turn, their king.” He then looked back at Dipper, and the fondness was gone, replaced by disdain. “My name is Wirt, and I am prince of the gnomes.”

 

Dipper felt his mouth drop. Prince of the gnomes? This human was their leader? I mean, it made sense why the gnome was snuggling up to him. And now that he thought back, he was certain the gnome had called him ‘your majesty’ more than once. Despite the puzzle pieces slowly coming together, the big picture it was meant to show was still lost on Dipper. However, something else was becoming clear, something that made Dipper instantly regret his previous opinions of the man in front of him.

 

“You! So you’re the one that’s been commanding your pets to kidnap women? You’re the one that’s trying to force my sister and whatever poor girl to marry you? This is all your doing?” Dipper suddenly snapped, turning the accusations back on Wirt.

 

The gnome prince’s eyes widened, and his expression contorted into bewilderment. “Wh-what?” he stuttered, gone with the authoritative air he had upheld earlier. He suddenly seemed much less intimidating; more of an awkward young adult rather than a ruler of mythical creatures.

 

Dipper stepped forward, his face flaring red with anger. Each step he took forward, the prince stumbled back one. ”I can’t believe all those times I saved my sister were just because some pretty boy pretending to be a gnome wanted to get laid. You’re disgusting, you know that? Don’t you know anything about free will? About the consent of others? Do you think women are just dames for you and your little rats to collect? A trophy bride to parade around? A title to make yourself king? Have you no decency for others!?”

 

Wirt looked even more lost, his body shrinking in on himself as he began to stutter profusely. “I...I’m sorry? B-but I have no idea what you’re talking about! Ki-kidnapping? I--I would never--!”

 

Dipper rolled his eyes, “Oh yeah sure. Like your gnomes haven’t tried kidnapping my sister on multiple occasions, screaming how they’re going to make her their queen! Hell, they attempted to take her just last week. But no, you certainly haven’t done anything wrong, have you Wart of the Gnomes?” he spat.

 

Wirt weakly began, “I-it’s Wirt--”

 

“I know what it is!” Dipper said, effectively cutting him off.

 

With a little more confidence, or perhaps just desperation to soothe the misunderstanding, Wirt pulled himself to his full height again. “I assure you, I have forbid my gnomes from going anywhere near the humans. I have made no commands or request for a bride or a queen. I have not told them anything about taking women from their place and bringing them back home. On the word of my kingdom, I have made no such claim, ever!”

 

Dipper scoffed, hardly ready to believe anything Wirt said, not after he knew the truth, “Sure you haven’t.”

 

Just then, a meek voice spoke up, halting the two’s argument. “Ummm...your majesty….i-if I may...” The two of them looked down at Bartley as if remembering he was still present in this whole affair.

 

“Shut up Beakley, you’ve done enough talking,” Dipper replied on impulse.

 

"It’s Bartley!” Both he and Wirt snapped back. Wirt, turning back to his subject, furrowed his brows, “Bartley, what is this meaning of all this? Do you know what he’s talking about?”

 

Bartley hurriedly rushed to explain himself. “You see, your majesty. We only had your best interest at heart--” When Wirt’s brown furrowed further, he pushed on, with even more apprehension. “You see, we...the gnomes... we thought that once you turned 14, once you were  of age--gnomes are usually of age around 140, so in your case, 14-- that we should...that we would... find you a suitor…Someone you could rule alongside. A wife...a queen….so you could...eventually....have offspring...”

 

Wirt listened to the words carefully. Only after Bartley had trailed off, and another minute of slow processing, did the gnomes words fully impact him. His face turned several shades of red, his eyes blown wide in alarm. “WAIT, WHAT?”

 

“N-now your majesty, please remain cal--”

 

But calm was the furthest thing the prince was going to remain. “What have you done Bartley? What have all of your done? Are you serious! You’ve been going behind my back and kidnapping...or attempting to kidnap women for me! At no point did I ever mention I was looking for a suitor, and even if I had, this was never the way I would have wanted this to go! How could you possibly think I would want something like this?” He turned his fear on Dipper, his face having gone ashen white. “No wonder you were so upset by my subjects! No wonder you thought me to be so horrible. I would think the same if I knew what was going on! I...I apologize from the deepest pits of my soul and heart. Please, please forgive me for all the trouble my people have caused you.” He bent forward in a violent bow, knocking his cone shaped hat off his head, and nearly throwing Bartley from his shoulders.

 

The gnome clung tightly to Wirt’s jacket, “Y-your majesty, please calm down!--”

 

Wirt swooped back up and turned his frustrations back to Bartley, pointing his finger at the gnome and scolding him as if he were child, “I will not calm myself! How can I be calm when this has all unfolded. Seven years? Seven years! You’ve been doing this for seven years, without once consulting me? Without asking if this was something I wanted?” Wirt tugged at his scalp, making his hair stand up in odd angles when he released it.

 

With a heavy, grieving sigh, he put his head in his hands and began to mutter to himself. “ _Oh dear. Oh dear, what have we done? All the people we must have made suffer, or at the very least, mildly uncomfortable and inconvenienced. Those poor women, having no clue what was happening or why them? This is terrible. I don’t doubt that we’re wanted criminals now to the humans. I bet they’re searching for us with torches and leaf blowers in hand to rid themselves of the lot of us. How many enemies we must have made. This is why I forbade them from interacting with humans. And now we’ve angered the humans and they wish to eradicate us from their town. Oh no, oh no, this is the end!"_

 

Dipper didn’t know how to respond. The boy was panicking almost as bad as he did when something went wrong. Suddenly, all he could feel was pity for this boy. This boy, who clearly had no knowledge of what had been happening for the past several years. Dipper awkwardly rubbed his arm, and took a step closer to the still ranting prince. Then another. Once he was in arm’s distance, he reached out and gently touched the prince’s shoulder not currently occupied by his much more guilty subordinate. “Hey,” Dipper began gently.

 

Wirt looked up from his hands and turned to regard Dipper cautiously. His hands shook as he cowered beneath the boy, which was a feat when Dipper was obviously the shorter of the two. He was putting exuberant amounts of stress on his back by crouching like that. Now Dipper felt even worse. “Are...are you going to exterminate us now?” Wirt asked, his eyes resembling those of a deer in headlights.

 

“What? No man, I’m not going to exterminate you.”

 

“Then...then are you here to drive us out of our homes? Are we being exiled?” Wirt continued, his fear mounting with each thought of upcoming punishment.

 

Dipper shook his head, “No, no you’re fine. Dude, seriously. I’m not kicking you out of town either. I can see now that you obviously were unaware of what was going on.” He eyed Bartley with more contempt, “It’s really your subordinates causing all this trouble, but I handle them on a daily basis, so it’s more of an annoyance than an actual issue. Like they’re really no threat here.”

 

Bartley growled, but, under the watchful eye of his ruler, refrained from speaking out. Dipper knew he wasn’t going to let Wirt see all the other bad qualities these little half sized heathens had caused. Hell, Wirt didn’t even hear the conversation the two had been having prior-- very clearly showing a malicious intent on the gnomes part-- so it was obvious that Bartley hadn’t even begun to scratch the surface of misdemeanors the gnomes had wrought. For all intents and purposes, Wirt was completely sheltered, his subjects leading a double life behind his back, while playing innocent caregiver when in his presence. How pissed Bartley must be to have Dipper shatter Wirt’s whole perception in a single meeting.

 

“Still, whether just a hindrance or a menace, my gnomes have caused trouble for you and your people,” Wirt heaved a heavy sigh with his words. He looked so distraught, running his fingers repeatedly through his hair, making it spike up in an almost comical way. Dipper would laugh, if he didn’t already know the prince would be more visibly upset by it. “I don’t know how to possibly make amends for years of trouble. Can I even be forgiven for something like this?” Another weary sigh, followed by pinpricks of moisture in the corner of his eyes. _Oh no, Dipper really hoped he wasn’t going to cry, he was terrible at dealing with other people crying._

 

Thankfully, the prince kept it back, and said instead, in a low, almost half whisper, “ _If only I could apologize to each person who had been in direct correlation to these incidences. I don’t want to even know how many people have been affected by this--”_

 

Dipper’s eyes widened, as the lightbulb in his head went off, “What if you could? Well, maybe not everyone, but I know at least one specific person who would very much appreciate an apology after all these years.” He helpfully provided. This caught both the interest of Wirt and Bartley; Wirt looked painfully relieved, while Bartley turned white as a sheet.

 

“Well, one is better than none at all. Can I really make amends though to this person?”

 

“Yeah dude, I’m sure you could. Mabel’s like pretty forgiving. And, considering she seems to be a repeating target to your cronies, I think apologizing to her first is probably the best step to go.”

 

Wirt nodded, smiling weakly. It was a start. A start to a long list of things he had to make better. “Yes, you are correct. Please, If you would be so inclined. I do not know what is beyond the forest, so I don’t know where I could--” he trailed off.

 

Dipper smiled warmly back, “Dude, I’ll be your guide. I know exactly where to go too, considering she is my sister!”

 

Wirt’s face paled again, “Your sister! Oh right! I guess it would be her, wouldn’t it? Might I just once more reiterate how sorry I am for this mess my people have caused.”

 

Dipper waved his comment away, “Don’t apologize to me, like I said, let’s go apologize to her. If you do that, then you’ll be in my better graces.”

 

Wirt smiled again, his cheeks pinkening, “Yes, I would very much rather be in your good graces,”

 

Dipper felt his own cheeks go red. He knew the prince had meant it innocently enough, and yet his heart was still hammering wildly in his chest at his comment. Damn, now that the misunderstanding had been cleared up, Dipper was once more reminded how attractive he had thought the taller man to be. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “R-right, we should go then--”

 

“--Now hold it!” Once more they were both surprised to remember that they were not the only two there. They looked down at Bartley who, Dipper could see, was sweating.

 

Bartley addressed Wirt, wringing his hands together as he nervously replied, “Your majesty, it is unwise to follow this human! You’ve never been outside the woods; you don’t know what’s waiting for you out there. This could be a trap he devised to rid us of your highness! He could hurt you! Or worse. Do you really trust him that much?”

 

Wirt frowned, “Right now, considering he’s the only one who _hasn’t_ lied to me, I do!” Bartley paled, and looked down in shame. With another heavy sigh, Wirt said, more gently, “I promise I won’t be gone long.”

 

He took Bartley in his hands and gently lowered him back to the ground. “If it makes you feel better, you can send the others to retrieve me if I’m not back by nightfall,” he reassured, giving Bartley a pat on the head. Then he reached over, retrieved his fallen hat and stood, placing his crown back upon his head.

 

“But your majesty--” Bartley began.

 

Wirt raised his hand, silencing the gnome before he could finish. “I’ve made up my mind. This is what I have to do. I’ll be back soon, I promise.” He gave another reassuring smile, then turned to face Dipper who had been watching their back and forth silently. “If the offer still stands, I would like to accompany you to the outside world so I may properly send my deepest regret to you sister, who I must have caused great pain to.”

 

Dipper shook his head, brushing the other’s comment away, “Hey man don’t worry. I promise she’s not losing sleep over it. If fact, I’m sure she’ll accept an apology from a handsome man such as yourself before you can even finish say ‘Im sorry’” Dipper added.

 

Wirt blushed, a bashful smile tugging at his lips, “I never thought myself to be handsome, thank you for your kind words.”

 

Realizing what he just said, Dipper’s blush mirrored the prince’s own, and he quickly ran a hand over his face in hopes of wiping it away. No such luck of course. “I---I mean...It’s not that I think that---though, I don’t think you’re ugly! By no means, I just know my sister and----maybe we should start heading over.” He pointed in the direction of the Mystery Shack, hoping the change of subject would distract Wirt.

 

 _How adorable, he gets as nervous as me_ Wirt thought fondly, and, playing along, nodded his approval, “Yes, let us depart.” He turned one last time to Bartley, giving the gnome a half masted wave, smiling sweetly at his family. “Everything will be alright, good friend. Tell the other’s everything is okay. I will miss you all dearly, but we’ll be reunited shortly. Make merry while I am gone...but please, behave.” He added, his last word taking on a commanding tone.

 

Then he turned and followed Dipper into the thicket.

 

_Into the unknown_

 

_\---_

 

“You can call me Wirt, you know?” Prince Wirt replied, after a long moment of silent walking.

 

Dipper looked at him curiously, “Huh? What do you mean?”

 

“You kept calling me...Dude? Man? I have a name that I’ve helpfully supplied to you, I would be pleased if you would use it.”

 

Dipper flushed, “Oh sorry ma---um...errr...Prince Wirt?”

 

Wirt shook his head, “No need to be so formal. I am not your ruler. And sometimes I find the title to be so overwhelming. It’s embarrassing really. Just Wirt is fine. I like when you call me just Wirt.”

 

The flush on Dipper’s face darkened. _He likes when I call him Wirt. Oh dear, this man really was quite cute._ Dipper looked away, mumbling at the ground, “Okay...Wirt it is then.” He said, trying the name for the first time. It felt kind of nice when he said it aloud. _Wirt._

 

Wirt beamed with joy, “Yes thank you...Uh--?”

 

The young prince suddenly stopped, causing Dipper to stop as well, and they turned to face each other. “I never got to ask you what your name was. You know my name, and yet I didn’t bother to even find out yours. Oh gosh, I’m certainly in poor taste today." Wirt placed a hand on his head, shaking it back and forth.

 

Dipper chuckled, “It’s okay Wirt, really. I probably should have told you my name to begin with; although, we were fighting earlier, so I think you have a reason why it didn’t come up.”

 

Wirt nodded, but still looked repenting. “Yes, still. Now that things have been cleared up, it would be nice to know your name. Would you please tell me your name?” He finally asked, looking straight into Dipper’s eyes.

  
Dipper gulped, not sure why, but feeling so compelled to answer in that moment. The way Wirt was looking at him with those warm gray eyes. So inviting and curious. Dipper tugged nervously at his collar, hot all over. Those eyes really did burn as bright as coals. _Dipper was certainly catching fire_ . Even though they just met, even though Wirt was the prince of their longtime enemies, even though his 'family' had tried to kidnap his sister multiple times, Dipper felt the words tumbling out of his mouth.

  
  
“M-mason. You can call me Mason," he blurted.

  
Wirt regarded Dipper for a long moment, so long that Dipper could feel his hands getting clammy from the almost uncomfortable silence that followed. Then after what felt too long of just staring, in his opinion, Wirt tilted his head and gave Dipper another warm smile.

  
  
"Mason. What a wonderful name." He said, letting the name roll off his tongue.

  
  
Dipper felt heat rise to his face. He quickly turned away, and began moving much more quickly than before. Wirt rushed to catch up.

 

_Oh no._

 

\---

 

Bartley watched in despair as his prince disappeared through the pines with the other boy. He hoped, prayed, his majesty would turn back around and return, but the sounds of footsteps only became more distant. Once he could no longer see his prince, no longer hear their conversation, or smell the lingering scents they left behind, his expression turned dark. He balled his hands into fist, and gnashed his teeth. The bushes behind his shook and shuddered.

 

“Dipper Pines, you have just made the second biggest mistake of you life. This time, we will not let you interfere in our plans.” From the bushes, tiny, glaring eyes appeared from the shadows. From the treetops, little bearded men sat perched like crows atop branches, brandishing spears and sharpening daggers. All around their tiny voices filled the air, ringing sounds of war and impending doom.

 

“This time, we will bring our ultimate being into this world!”


	2. Chapter 2

“Think he’ll be home soon?” Mabel lowered her shades, addressing Waddles, her pet pig, who was currently lounging on the fold out chair next to her.

 

“Whhhhheeee---snnnk!” Waddles snorted in reply, wiggling his trotters in the air, before turning on his side and falling back to sleep.

 

“You’re right, I’m sure he’s fine,” She agreed, licking her thumb, before flipping to the next page of her ‘Several Beatz’ Magazine.

 

She knew Dipper could handle one dumb gnome, though she wonders if she should have ignored his command to stay put, and chased after the dumb thing with him. But then, no one would have been watching the oven, and Grunkle Stan and Great Uncle Ford would be pissed if she blew up the kitchen...again.

 

And besides, that meant she would have burnt her newest creation. She put the magazine down and picked up a slice of garish cake. Mabel’s famous rainbow Unicorn Cake (Not actually famous because it was made today! And not made with real unicorns, but she’d love to see the look on their snobby faces if she pretended it was). She picked up her bright pink fork and dug into the corner, popping the sugary, frosted dessert into her mouth. She felt a sugar high from the single bite alone. It’s perfect.

 

 _Mabel, that’s disgusting! And so teeth rotting!_ Her brother would reprimand if he saw the finished piece. Especially if he saw the additional icing, frosting, and sprinkles she had topped it off with. But whatever, he had bad taste in a lot of things.

 

 _Speak of the devil!_ Mabel perked up at the sound of encroaching voices, coming from the thicket of the woods. She listened carefully, catching snippets here and there, but still too distant to really understand the full of it. She did however, realize that one of the voices belonged to her brother.

 

“I promise…..Mabel’s…….don’t……”

 

She couldn’t recognize the other voice though, as it was hardly audible.

 

“Sure?....I…...bad…..”

 

Closing her magazine, she jumped up from her tanning spot and stretched. She stepped further out, trying to catch more of the conversation. Did he stumble across Wendy on his way back? Soos? Maybe even Pacifica!

 

“I told you…...apologize,.....fine”

 

“Yes….this wouldn’t…...if ...better control….them…” She realized the voice was distinctly male, and one she hadn’t heard before. A tourist then, having gotten lost trying to find their way to the mystery shack. Mabel rolled her eyes. She told Soos they needed to repaint the signs again.

 

Just then the bushes rustled and a second later, she saw her behatted brother stepping into the clearing. He went on ahead, but Mabel didn’t see anyone following behind him. She raised an eyebrow in confusion.

 

“Hey bro-bro!” She waved. “Who were you talking too?” She stood on her tiptoes, looking this way and that, but seeing no sign of the mysterious voice. She put her hands on her hips, “Did you bring another ghost home?”

 

Dipper looked confused, “Huh? What? No! I actually brought someone who--” his voice fell away when he looked behind him and saw no one there. Startled, he walked back into the brush, and Mabel caught more snippets of their conversation.

 

“Hey, come on it’s okay.” She heard her brother practically coo. _Dipper? Cooing?_

 

The mysterious stranger stuttered back, “I just...I’ve never really seen many humans. And...and what if she’s still mad? What if she kicks me?”

 

She cocked her head to the side, curious.

 

Her brother, “It’s okay, I promise she won’t kick you. ...She’s more of a biter!” he teased.

 

Mabel bristled, “Hey, I can still hear you!” she shouted back at them.

 

She heard a squeak, and once more Dipper tried to soothe the mysterious person, “Trust me, it’s okay. Come on, you said you wanted to do this! You owe her that much, don’t you?”

 

Whatever Dipper meant by that, it seemed to work, because the next time Dipper came out of the brush, he was followed by another young man. Another, tall, dashing man. Who was wearing a deep blue cloak, and large pointed hat. Besides his odd attire, he was a looker. Mabel let out a low wolf whistle.

 

“Usually I’d warn you not to bring strangers home, but this time I can make an exception!”

 

The stranger turned bright red and looked down at himself, apprehensive. He wrung his hands nervously together.

 

Dipper’s face turned red in embarrassment, “Knock it off Mabel. Besides, don’t you already have Pacifica?” he shot back.

 

Mabel hummed, “Yes, doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a cute guy when he shows up. Still Pan, remember? Besides, I’m not the one who brought him home.” At this, she looked pointedly at Dipper, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

 

Dipper cursed, “OH GROW UP MABEL!” He scrubbed uselessly at the blush on his face. Wirt looked between the twins, lost.

 

Dipper, still blushing, grabbed Wirt by his wrist and pulled him towards Mabel. “Listen, we came, because this guy owes you an apology.” He let go, the momentum causing Wirt to stumble forward. He stopped just in front of Mabel.

 

She looked up at him, then eyed her brother. “Owe me an apology? Why would this cutie owe me an apology? What did he do?”

 

The man answered for Dipper.

 

He took a step back, and inhaled deeply. Then he bowed as low as his back would bend, sending his hat flying. Mabel and Dipper jumped back in shock. “Please! Lady Mabel. I come to you with sincerest apologies for the behavior and mistreatment my loyal subjects have caused you. Had I been aware of their plans, I would have put a stop to them from the very beginning. I ask you, beseech you, be swift with your punishment, but please, please have mercy on me and my kin!” he cried, his voice echoing loudly in the clearing.

 

Mabel studied him for a moment, then turned to her brother. “Dipper, what the hell is he talking about?”

 

Dipper didn’t answer her. He instead coaxed the stranger to continue. “Maybe you should tell her who you are.”

 

Wirt whipped right back up, and Mabel and Dipper cringed at the sharp snap his back made. He seem nonplussed, “Yes, yes you’re absolutely right. I apologize once more Mabel. Not just for the injustice of my actions, but for not even properly introducing myself. My name is Wirt, and I am prince of the gnomes! They are my family...and your tormenter…” he added, his voice faltering as he shrunk in on himself.

 

Mabel stared. And stared. And stared.

 

She whipped on Dipper, eyes as big as dinner plates, “WHAT?!”

 

Dipper lifted his hands, and nodded, mouth tight, eyes just as wide as hers. He sent her a “I KNOW, RIGHT?” telepathically.

 

She looked back at Wirt, mouth hanging open. Then she turned on Dipper. And back to Wirt.

 

“You’re a...gnome?” She asked in disbelief.

 

Wirt nodded solemnly, “Afraid so. Though I know it must be filling you with rage to even lay eyes on my kind, I---there’s still so much more I must say. Please, allow me to continue,” he pleaded.

 

Mabel was too stunned to respond, so she just nodded her approval. It’s enough for Wirt.

 

“I’m...I’m so sorry, Lady Mabel. I can see how disgusted you are. Just my appearance alone must be a blight on your beautiful, caramel-sweet eyes.” Mabel blushed, Dipper pouted. Wirt noticed neither as he went on, “This is all my fault! If I had only know sooner, I could have prevented all the misery I must have brought you.” Wirt looked crestfallen. He picked up his hat and began fiddling with the edges.

 

“Wirt…” Mabel began.

 

“Y-yes?” he replied, hands shaking, swallowing the lump in his throat.

 

“If I had know you were who the gnomes were trying to marry me off to?--”

 

Wirt trembled under her piercing gaze.

 

“I WOULD HAVE SAID YES FROM THE VERY BEGINNING!” She shouted.

 

“MABEL!!!” Dipper snapped, looking at her like she’d grown two heads.

 

“What?” Wirt cried, dropping his hat again.

 

Mabel laughed at the look on their faces. “I mean, obviously not now, cause I’m happily dating. But like, when I was 12, one look at your face and I probably would have gotten married that day! Like, BAM! Knot Tied, double looped--TRIPLE LOOPED, EVEN!”

 

“MABEL, YOU HAVE NO SELF CONTROL!” Dipper stormed towards her, looking like he was going to shake her the same way he had shaken Bartley. Wirt took a cautious step back, uncertain about the temper of his travel companion.

 

_Perhaps he should have stayed with the gnomes!_

 

Mabel laughed as her brother grabbed her, waving him off flippantly, “Oh gosh, come on Bro Bro. You know I was a thirsty HO-HO!” She snorted.

 

“MABEL! STOP BEING VULGAR!” Dipper shrieked, the heat having risen to the tops of his ears.

 

“Why? Am I making a bad first impression in front of the prince?” She said slyly.

 

“MABEL!” And just like Wirt thought, he began shaking her. But unlike his gnome, who looked terrified, this equally terrifying girl only began to laugh harder.

 

“Uh oh! Dip-Dots all red! I’ve embarrassed him in front of his new _friend._ Hmmmm, are you feeling a little nervous Dippin’ Dots? A little jelly~?”

 

“BE FUCKING SERIOUS MABEL!”

 

“Didn’t think he was that good looking either, did you? Like, whoa! He’s kind of pulling off a geek chic vibe that you never could.”

 

“MABEL! SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP! ”

 

“YOU ARE! YOU’RE TOTALLY JEALOUS! HAHAHAAH! I BET IF YOU SAW HIM, YOU’D HAVE WANTED THE GNOMES TO MARRY YOU OFF TOO. BRO BRO WAS A LITTLE HOE HOE TOO, WANTING TO PLOW PRINCE WIRT’S GAR--”

 

Dipper screamed, tackling her to the ground.

 

Wirt watched the two scream, squeal in laughter, and wrestle. His head darted back towards the safety of the woods.

 

_What had he gotten himself into._

 

\---

 

“But hey, in all seriousness, It’s okay. I forgive you. It wasn’t your fault the gnomes tried kidnapping me all those times before. I can tell you have a good conscious; you wouldn’t do something if you knew it was intentionally malicious.” Back in the cool, air-conditioning of the Mystery Shack, Mabel reached into the mini fridge for some soda. Dipper leaned against the cashier table, watching Wirt, who was looking around at all the souvenirs in silent awe.

 

Wirt picked up a snowglobe and shook it, his eyes widening when the little snowflakes began to fall. His mouth opened in intrigue, and then, realizing Mabel had finished speaking, set the snowglobe down. “True, but I’m sure it must have been uncomfortable. Your brother has told me that it wasn’t exactly something you looked forward to when you came up here.” He stepped towards the postcard rack. Pushing it with his finger, he stumbled back when it rotated around...and then quickly stepped closer and began rotating it in sheer fascination.

 

“You are correct, gnome kidnapping wasn’t really a highlight of my summer. Though I can say it was an interesting adventure. Besides, it wasn’t like they were huge issues. More like tiny annoyances, you know?” She pulled out three cans of Pitt Cola, tossing one to Dipper, who caught it easily.

 

“Don’t throw Soda Mabel, you’ll make it fizz up!”

 

She ignored him, turning to Wirt, “Every had one of these, Wirt?” She asked, holding up the second can.

 

Wirt’s eyes grew wide and he nodded excitedly, his fascination with the postcard holder momentarily satiated. “Oh, yes, I’ve had those before. The gnomes have brought me some in the past! They’re...they’re quite flavorful.” Noticing his less than regal composure at one of his favorite beverages, his voice trailed off weakly.

 

“Gosh, you’re a cutie!” Mabel giggled, tossing the can towards Wirt. He yelped, and scrambled to grab it from the air before it fell and spilt everywhere. He fumbled to get a tight hold, but finally managed to secure it. He sighed. Mabel popped the lid of her can, still chuckling.

 

Dipper glared at her, “Rude Mabel!”

 

She gave him a pointed look, and he clammed up. “I promise you though, no matter how bad you think those gnomes were to me, It was fine. Me and Dipper always managed fine against them. I don’t know if you know this, seeing as you live with a bunch of withered old men, but I’m a pretty tough girl, I can hold my own against them,” She flexed as if to prove her point.

 

“Oh yes. Your brother told me the same thing!” Wirt chirped his agreement.

 

Mabel unflexed.“Oh?” She eyed her brother. “Seems Dipper told you a lot about me!”

 

“I was just letting him know what his gnomes had been up to while he was unaware,” Dipper quickly countered.

 

“Hmmmm” Mabel pursed her lips. “Has he told you anything else about our family, Wirt?” She asked in feigned innocence.

 

Wirt fiddled with the lid of the can, but found himself unable to get to the sweet drink inside. He squinted at the weird contraption. _His subjects had usually brought him a can already opened, sometimes half drunken._ He felt too shy to ask what to do, seeing as he had told them he knew what Pitt Cola was. All hope lost, Wirt was ready to dejectedly accept his failings, and set the drink on the counter, pretending he wasn’t thirsty anymore. At the clearing of Dipper’s throat, Wirt looked over.

 

Dipper gestured to his can, and then popped the lid, effortlessly. Wirt’s mouth opened and he quickly mimicked Dipper’s fingers, smiling gleefully when the lid popped, releasing his fizzy, peach scented drink. Orangish-pink liquid fizzed over the can’s rim, but thankfully none overflowed. Wirt looked at Dipper and mouthed his thanks. Dipper turned pink and looked away, suddenly laser focused on his own drink. This interaction was not lost on Mabel, who smiled knowingly.

 

“I’m sorry, what did you say Mabel?” Wirt asked, after taking a sip of his own drink. He almost purred. How could something be so perfectly refreshing? How could one encompass peaches in a can? Humans were magical.

 

“I asked if my brother told you anything else about us?”

 

“Oh, no. We didn’t talk for very long. We were on our way back, so we only had time to discuss the matters of your kidnappings. Mason filled me in on--”

 

Mabel spat out her drink, spraying the two in her backwash.

 

“MABEL, SICK!” Dipper shouted, attempting to cover his face with his arms.

 

“AH?” Wirt lifted his cloak, managing to avoid more of her spit take than her brother had.

 

Mabel coughed and pounded on her chest.

 

“I’m, I’m so sorry?” Wirt replied, “Have I said something wrong?”

 

When she had stopped coughing, she looked at Wirt skeptically. “I’m sorry, what did you say just now?” She pointed at him.

 

“I simply said that Mason only mentioned--”

 

“MASON???” She turned her incredulous expression to Dipper. He took a long swig of his drink, refusing to meet her eyes.

 

“Yes? T-that is his name...isn’t it?” Wirt looked between the twins, once more perplexed at their silent interactions.

 

“N-no. Th-that is his name...I just…” She scratched her head. “S-sorry for the weird reaction. It’s just, Dipper doesn’t use that name very often.” She concluded.

 

Wirt made a small ‘ah’ noise, as if dawning upon something. “Yes, now that you mention it, you’ve been calling him Dipper, haven’t you? I thought it strange that he told me to call him one thing, and you are calling him something else. If it’s not too uncomfortable, may I inquire about the origin of Dipper?” He asked the male twin.

 

It was his sister who answered though, “Well see, Dipper is his nickname. We’ve been calling him Dipper for years now. I’m talking year and years, since he was five, because he has---” Dipper’s pointed glare had her changing her statement, “---Well, he has a reason for the nickname, but I guess I’ll let _him_ tell it, even though he seems comfortable telling a stranger all about _me.”_

 

Dipper rolled his eyes. Mabel stuck her tongue out at him.

 

Wirt watched their interactions with amusement.

 

**_Shͦ͗ͯͩ̀ȕͮ̃ͬṡ̀ͫ̄̐͏h̍ͦ̾̅̓͒̐͏_ **

**_̓̏̽̑̆_ **

**_̴̅̽ͮ͋̎N̈́ͧ̿͋ͬͦ̉͏o̓,ͮ̋ͪ̾̊ͣ ͐ͩYͯ̇ͤ͌҉õ͛̇̌̿ͮ͌u͗ͬ͂ ̵̄́S̅̅̊̆h̡̓́ͪ̎̓͒̚ǘͭ̂͂͌̆s҉h͒̌ͬ͞_ **

 

Wirt gasped. He clenched his eyes shut, the can of cola slipping from his fingers. It landed to the floor with a heavy thunk, the remainder of his drink spilling out and slipping through the cracks of the flooring. Waddles trotted quietly towards the spill, quickly lapping it up while the owner was distracted. Mabel and Dipper stopped glaring long enough to look at their companion.

 

Wirt pressed a hand to his forehead and hissed.

 

“Wirt?” Dipper asked.

 

“Are you okay?” Mabel stepped towards him gingerly.

 

For a moment, the pain was sharp and searing. And then it was gone.

 

Wirt blinked. “Huh? Wha?” He looked up to see two identical pairs of eyes staring at him. “Oh, so-sorry! What were we talking about?” He looked down at his spilt drink and clasped his hands over his mouth, horrified, “Oh no! I’m so so sorry! I’ll--I’ll clean this up immediately!” he moved towards the broom, but Dipper reached out and caught his sleeve, stopping him.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Wirt? Are you okay? You looked like you were in pain just a minute ago.” He gnawed his bottom lip as he stared at the older male, wondering what could have possibly happened.

 

Wirt cocked his head to the side, and gave Dipper a clueless smile, “What are you talking about?”

 

Dipper’s eyes narrowed, “What do you mean what am I talking about? You looked like you suddenly had a headache and that’s why you dropped your drink.”

 

Wirt pursed his lips, frowning, “I...I did?” he asked.

 

Dipper released him, “You mean you don’t remember?”

 

Wirt shook his head, “No, I’m afraid not. Sometimes I forget things that happen. I’ve been like that since I was a baby. The gnomes tell me it’s because I worry so much that I sometimes forget that time is still moving.” He laughed at the explanation, but Dipper looked dubious.

 

“Um, Dipper...we should clean that, shouldn’t we?” Wirt asked, pointing to the spill, which was spreading.

 

Mabel raised her hand, “I got it! Dipper why don’t you find Wirt a seat?”

 

Wirt tried to protest, “Oh no, Lady Mabel, I couldn’t. I’m the one who spilt--”

 

She waved his objections off, “No no. You need to sit. And it’s just Mabel, okay?” she winked at him, “Don’t worry about the mess, I’ve got it. You just rest.”

 

Wirt looked unsure, rubbing his arm as he eyed the both of them, “I feel as if I’ve been a hindrance this whole time,” he muttered.

 

Dipper took his wrist again. He gave Wirt a reassuring smile, “No, it’s fine. Really. Come on, let’s get you seated.” He tugged Wirt through the side door, into their living room.

 

Once inside, Dipper led him to their armchair, and lowered Wirt into it. Wirt still seemed adamant about helping though, shifting in his seat, eyeing the door they had just exited.

 

“Don’t worry Wirt, Mabel says she’s got it, so she’s got it!” Dipper took a seat on the couch.

 

“I just...you must both have a terrible impression of me,” Wirt whimpered.

 

“Nah, trust me. I’ve met way way worse. You barely scratch the surface of bad first impressions,” Dipper said, nudging him playfully.

 

Dipper's reassurance allowed Wirt to smile, “T-thank you. That is a relief to know, at least.”

 

They sat in silence for a long moment, looking at everything but each other. Dipper pulled at a loose thread on his sweater sleeve. Wirt looked around the room as a whole, committing everything to memory. “So this is a human’s house,” he said, mostly to himself.

 

Dipper, catching his musings, regarded him. “Oh yeah, welcome to the Pines's household. This is the living room. This is where we well...live!” He chuckled, and then mentally slapped himself at his terrible joke.

 

But Wirt chuckled alongside him, and Dipper felt his spirits lift. “It is comfortable. I like it.” He shifted in the chair, and frowned, “Except maybe this chair. Something’s digging into my back.” He winced.

 

Dipper nodded, “Yeah, it’s my Uncle’s favorite seat, so it’s well loved.” He patted the couch next to him. “Try here instead.”

 

Wirt stood up, and sat back down, right next to Dipper. He kept his back straight, and arms folded politely in his lap as he smiled at the boy next to him. Dipper felt his whole body spark to life, realizing his mistake a moment too soon. Now he had a very handsome man sitting next to him. _Shit._

 

“Much better,” Wirt sighed.

 

Dipper swallowed, wondering if it would look weird if he moved to the loveseat. _It probably would._

 

“So…” Dipper began weakly.

 

“So…” Wirt repeated.

 

More silence. Dipper wondered where Mabel was. _It can’t take that long to clean a spill._ He bet she was just biding her time, torturing him longer. _She was dead._

 

“Why do they call you Dipper?” Wirt finally asked.

 

“Huh?”

 

“You guys never finished telling me. Why they call you Dipper?”

 

 _Yeah, because you suddenly looked like you were going to pass out._ Dipper decided to not voice his claims. He didn’t know this person or what they had been through. He had no reason to doubt Wirt. And damn, maybe if he was a little less attractive, a little less doe eyed, he would be more cautious around the prince. _WHY DID PRETTY FACES MAKE HIM LOSE ALL CONSCIOUS RATIONALITY?_

 

“Um, okay, well. Do you know anything about the constellations?”

 

Wirt glared at him.

 

“Okay, sorry sorry! I just, I don’t know how much you know about the outside world.”

 

“I know about the stars. Everyone in the forest knows about the stars. Stars are engraved in our lives. They’re special to the beings of the woods. They tell stories of our ancestors, they tell our fortunes, they predict our futures.”

 

 _Huh?_ Dipper never realized how much the mythical creatures of the woods valued stars. He would have to pry Wirt for more details later. Except right now they were talking about him. Damn, he wished they were talking about anyone else.

 

“Sorry,” he reiterated, “Okay, well, so, I have this birthmark that’s shaped like the Big Dipper.”

 

Wirt cocked his head.

 

“Um, you know? The Big Dipper. Tail end of Ursa Major?”

 

Wirt’s eyes sparkled in recognition. “Yes, Ursa Major! I know what you’re talking about now.” Then he said, leaning closer, “May I see?”

 

Dipper leaned back, aware of how little space there was between them. He could smell Peach cola on Wirt’s breath, as well as a strong hint of mint. Wirt’s eyes were so big and curious, Dipper once more felt himself melting under those eyes. _Damnit._

 

“I mean, yeah...okay. It’s not like I haven’t already told you something most people don’t know already.” He mumbled, pushing up his bangs.

  
Wirt stared intently. Dipper withered under his gaze, suddenly a bug under a microscope. _Oh shit, this was a bad idea!_ He tried to make a joke, but found his throat had gone dry. Now he wished he hadn’t left his drink in the gift shop. _Damn what was taking Mabel so long?_ His fingers curled into the arm rest behind him, his breath shallow, “It’s dorky, isn’t it? It-it looks like a bunch of zit--EEP!” Dipper jumped.

 

“It’s beautiful! I’ve never seen anything like it! How blessed you are.”

 

Wirt was tracing the mark on Dipper’s head with his index finger. He was using the lightest of touches, but Dipper felt it all along his skin. His whole body burned at Wirt’s touch. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. Gooseflesh ran up his arms. His stomach churned, threatening to cough up the Pitt Cola he had drank.

 

Wirt leaned closer, and Dipper couldn’t take it anymore. He quickly pushed the prince away. Wirt stumbled back, surprised. Dipper pulled his knees up, a blockade between them. He hid his hands in his lap, fingers curling and uncurling into fist. He felt hot all over, like he had spent the day running around in the summer sun. He didn’t know if he entirely hated the feeling, but he was scared to think of what else it could mean. He didn’t know how to feel about what just happened, but he wasn’t planning to think about it anytime soon.

 

Wirt held his own hands, looking ashamed. “I’ve made you uncomfortable, haven’t I?”

 

Dipper stuttered, “N-no.” He had, but not for the reason Wirt was thinking. “You just...caught me off guard. I don’t show this to many people...so I don’t really have people touching it either, you know?”

 

“Is this something you don’t want others to see?” Wirt didn’t seem to understand Dipper’s plight.

 

“Um yeah, kind of.” He pushed his bangs back down as he spoke. “Let’s just say the birthmark gives me some bad memories. A lot of people made fun of it when I was younger. You know, dumb kid stuff.” But of course Wirt wouldn’t know. He wasn’t human...or wasn’t raised by humans, at the very least. Dipper quickly amended himself, “It’s just, I like my nickname Dipper. That’s not shrouded in bad memories. It’s what a lot of people call me, a lot of my friends and family. It’s just the actual birthmark is...It’s really not a pleasing sight, not when it’s plastered on your forehead. It stands out too much, draws attention to itself. It looks gross. I just don’t really like showing it off, that’s all.”

 

Wirt seemed to accept this without question. Still, his face looked pained, even more regretful, “I’m so sorry Mason--or um...Would you prefer Dipper? Your sister made it seem like Mason was uncommon for you. If---if that makes you uncomfortable as well, I can--”

 

Dipper interrupted him, “No! No! It’s fine. I’m just...I don’t want you to--” _Dammit man, find your cool._ He inhaled, steeling his nerves, “It’s been a weird day. You know. Meeting the prince of the gnomes.”

 

Wirt nodded, “I agree wholeheartedly. I never expected to meet a human.”

 

Dipper continued, more confidently, “Yeah. Yeah, see! It’s just. There’s a lot being taken in. Your existence, the apology, my birthmark. So it’s all just a little weird right now. I think I’m just...overwhelmed.”

 

“I as well.” Wirt agreed.

 

Dipper nodded, “Yes...but um, I meant what I said. About you calling me Mason. I, I don’t mind, if you’re the one calling me that. And like, don’t pay attention to what Mabel said. It’s...not that uncommon.” He lied. It was uncommon. It was very uncommon for anyone to call him Mason.

 

“Are...are you sure?”

 

“Yeah. I’m sure.”

 

“Okay...Then once more, I’m sorry Mason. Please forgive me for touching you inappropriately.”

 

Dipper flushed at the word 'inappropriately'. He could think of a lot more inappropriate places Wirt could have touched... _AH, CHANGING SUBJECT! CHANGING SUBJECTS!_

 

“It’s fine. Forget about all that. Let’s focus on you instead.”

 

“Me?” Wirt pointed to himself.

 

“Yeah, like how do you feel?”

 

“About what?”

 

He wanted to say _about when you got that headache_ but he knew he shouldn’t press his luck. Wirt had seemed genuinely unaware of his incident. And even if he was lying, Dipper knew he wasn’t going to open up to him anytime soon. “About your apology with Mabel,” he said instead. “You were so nervous earlier, but I told you it would all work out.”

 

Wirt lets out a loud exhale, one he didn’t even know he had been holding. “Oh my goodness, I was so afraid your sister would hate me. It was hard to imagine her forgiving me after all those years. But she accepted it like it was nothing,” He pressed his hand to his cheek, making a soft “huh” sound. “You were certainly right when you said she would take it a lot better than I was assuming.”

 

Dipper groaned, “Yeah, but I never realized how much better she would take it.”

 

Wirt laughed, “I was certainly surprised too. Now if only that would work for all the other women I’ve wronged.”

 

“You’re planning to apologize to more than just Mabel?” Dipper asked, having not expected that.

 

“Well of course. One apology does not exalt me from my actions. If I hope to make peace with myself, I must apologize to all those I can. And to prevent this from happening again. Tonight I talk to my people, and put an end to these Kidnappings once and for all.”

 

In that moment, Dipper felt respect. More respect than he ever thought he would give this man. Here was someone who hadn’t been the direct cause of the gnomes behavior, but was taking full responsibility for it. Was willing to come outside his comfort zone, meet the humans which he so adamantly forbode the interaction of, in order to fix what his lackey’s had done. He was taking everything, even if it meant facing the consequences, accepting the possibility that not everyone would be as forgiving as Mabel. And despite how clearly afraid he was, Wirt had enough courage to try.

 

In that moment, Dipper could understand why the gnomes had made Wirt their Prince.

 

He truly acted in command, when desperation called.

 

Dipper blushed. _Dammit, he really was more than just a pretty face._

 

“For one so young, you certainly carry a heavy load on your shoulders.” Dipper perceived.

 

Wirt hmm-ed, “Perhaps. I don’t know if I am as young as you say though. I guess to the gnomes, I am incredibly young, but to you humans, I’m about 21. Tell me, is that too young?”

 

 _Oh, two years older._ “You’re what we’d classify as an adult in the US. So legally no, but lifewise, yeah. I’m 19, which makes me two years younger, if you want perspective. Now, me on the other hand, I’m legally an adult, but also still restricted to certain laws. Old enough to watch porn and buy swords, too young to drink alcohol. _Legally._ ”

 

“What’s porn?”

 

Dipper turned bright red. Why did he fucking mention that. “Um, it’s...it’s. Don’t worry. It’s a human thing. A terrible, terrible human thing.”

 

Wirt seemed suspicious, but before he could prod, the door to the gift shop finally opened, and Mabel casually strolled in. Dipper thanked her for her perfect timing. “Sorry I’m late. I had to take Waddles out to go potty.” She said, staring lovingly at her pig. Waddles gave a snort at the mention of his name, and then plopped onto his side.

 

She then turned to Wirt, “And how does our patient feel? You don’t feel nauseous, do you? Not going to pass out, or spill anymore drinks?”

 

Wirt shook his head, “I appreciate your concern, but once more, I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re worrying about?  I would, however, like to once more reiterate how incredibly sorry I am about your floor.”

 

Mabel sighed. The twins shared a quick look, before quickly turning their attention to their guest.

 

“We’re just making sure. We don’t want you fainting on us.” Mabel said, coming over to sit on the couch with them.

 

“Yeah, the gnomes would track you down, and destroy our house if they knew you had fainted on our watch.” Dipper continued.

 

“I wouldn’t want that!” Wirt fretted. Looking out the window, at the sun which was still high in the sky, barely even signifying noon, he added, “If such is the case, perhaps it be better for me to make my leave? So as not to worry them more.”

 

“Already?” Dipper hated how disheartened he sounded. This was not lost on Mabel either.

 

Wirt nodded, “I came for what I needed to do. Now that I’ve done it, It would be wise to return. My people can be very concerned with my well being, If I stay out too late, they might go into a full wide panic. I have to make sure they know I will return.”

 

He turned to Mabel, taking her hand. “I thank you once more for giving me a chance to speak. And for allowing me to apologize on behalf of my kind. I hope that in the future, there will be no more attempts for your hand in marriage. You have a very dear heart, to forgive me so easily.”

 

Mabel blushed, “Aw you flatter me. Really, you’re the one that won me over. So long as you hold to your promise, and keep your gnomes from trying to steal me in the night, we’re friends.”

 

Wirt beamed at the thought. “Friends, thank you.” Releasing her hands, he turned to Dipper. Dipper held his breath, wondering what the prince would say to him. When Wirt reached over and took Dipper’s hands in his, Dipper thought his heart had stopped dead.

 

“Mason, despite our rocky beginnings, I thank you for clearing all this confusion up. And for even allowing me the opportunity to apologize to your sister, guiding me here to your lovely abode. You too, have a very kind and warm heart. Sad as it is to part, I will not forget you anytime soon. Thank you so much for having me. I hope relations with the gnomes will improve, and that in time, you will come to see us as friends too.”

 

Dipper swallowed, “You’re making it seem like we’re never going to see each other again.”

 

Wirt cringed, “Are we not? I figured, I had stayed my welcome, and anymore would be over stepping. Once I return home, I’ll have to go back to my duties, which means the only people I will be able to interact with are the gnomes. I won’t have anymore time to myself. So I thought this was goodbye.”

 

Dipper jumped. He gripped Wirt’s hands tighter. “What do you mean goodbye?. How can you say that?” He could see Mabel from his peripheral. She was grinning like a madman. And suddenly he was back to himself.

 

Wirt was correct, wasn’t he? He had done what he needed to do, so there was no reason to see each other again. It wasn’t like the prince made many appearances outside the forest, like his gnomes had. Wirt was probably reclusive, promptly hidden away from the outside world by his “people”. To keep him safe, but from what?

 

There was no reason for Dipper wanting Wirt to stay. And there was no reason for Wirt to want to stay. _Right?_

 

And yet Dipper’s mouth was moving faster than his head was thinking. “What about the others though? You just said you wouldn’t rest until you had made amends to all the people your gnomes kidnapped. How can you apologize to them, if you’re stuck in the forest. Was that just a lie to placate us?”

 

“Well, of course I was still going to do that!” Wirt argued.

 

Dipper smirked, “Right? Well how are you going to apologize if you don’t know where to look? Most of them are humans, and you’ve never interacted with the humans, not before today. Aren’t you going to need someone to help you find them? Someone who’s human too?”

 

Wirt took a moment to take in Dipper’s words. As realization dawned, his eyes got bigger. “Are you suggesting?--”

 

“I told you I’d be your guide. You’re going to need all the help you can get. So, if I have to take that role, I willing volunteer.” Dipper said, pulling his hands from Wirt’s, and crossing them smugly.

 

Wirt let out a strange noise, mixed between joy and relief, before tackling Dipper into a hug. Dipper squeaked as the prince’s arms wrapping around his waist. From behind Wirt, Mabel gave Dipper a thumbs up. Dipper grumbled, flustered, his arms slowly unwrapping to return the hug.

 

Wirt pulled away after a moment, hands clasped together, “Mason, thank you! I don’t know how many times I can say it. But your kindness is unprecedented. I don’t deserve it, and yet still you offer it with no hesitation. You truly are the kindest human I have ever met. You and your sister both. Thank you! Thank you so very much!” He looked like he was going to start crying. Dipper had to put a stop to that.

 

“I’m not at kindhearted as you think. In fact, I might be doing this for a little incentive on my own,” Dipper admitted.

 

“Oh?” Wirt looked at him curiously.

 

Mabel waggled her eyebrows. Dipper ignored it.

 

“Yeah, I want to know more about you.”

 

Wirt’s eyebrows flew up past his hairline. Mabel almost fell off the couch, biting her knuckles to contain her laughter.

 

Realizing how that sounded, Dipper lifted his hands over his face, and began backtracking. “N-no! I meant! About your species! The gnomes! I-If I help you, I want more information on your kind!” he sputtered.

 

“ _Oh,_ ” Why did Wirt sound so disappointed? Before Dipper could analyze that, Wirt continued. “Well, I don’t know how the gnomes would feel about me sharing their secrets. We’re pretty private creatures.” Wirt rubbed the back of his neck, considering the other male. “...But you are helping me fix the damage they’ve caused….if--if you promise that your research won’t be used against the gnomes, that you won’t use this knowledge to hurt them...then we have a deal.” Wirt put his hand out. Dipper nodded, taking Wirt’s hand. They shook on it.

 

“Deal.”

 

Wirt’s expression softened. “Then I look forward to our continued partnership, Mason.”

 

\---

 

“So….Mason?” Mabel started as soon as they were in the attic.

 

“Oh my god Mabel, can we not do this?” Dipper pretended to read the contents of Journal 3, even though he had memorized the pages a thousand times already. Really it was just a distraction to not have this conversation they were currently having.

 

But Mabel wasn’t letting it slide. “You let him call you Mason.”

 

“It’s my name, isn’t it?”

 

“Dipper…” she pushed the book down so he was forced to meet her eyes. “You don’t let most people call you Mason.”

 

“That’s not true.” Dipper scoffed.

 

“Dipper!” She leaned in, as he leaned back, “The only people who know what your name is, are me, mom and dad, Grunkle Stan, and Great Uncle Ford. Even Wendy doesn’t know your first name!”

 

“T-that’s not….So what? What does it matter, it’s just a name.” He lifted the book again, shielding his face from his overly perceptive sister.

 

“...You like him.” She said in realization.

 

Dipper dropped the Journal. “Wh-What? I do not!”

 

She gasped, slapping her hands to her cheeks. “You don’t just like him! Oh my god, Dipper you got it bad!!!”

 

Dipper thought his face was going to explode. “Shit Mabel! Shut up! I don’t like him! I mean, sure he’s handsome, I’ll admit that, but I don’t feel anything for him. I barely met him today! How could I possibly like him? I’m not like you, just flirting with everyone I think is kind of cute.”

 

Mabel rolled her eyes, “Low blow, Bro-bro. Doesn’t change the fact that you want there to be something there.”

 

Dipper sputtered, “No, I don’t! I don’t want there to be anything between us. There is nothing between us. The only thing I feel for him is a curiosity to know how he could possibly be a gnome, because anyway I look at it, he’s a human. It’s a simple researcher’s curiosity, nothing more. End of discussion!” he said, as if this would be the final mention of this.

 

Mabel shook her head. “Damn Dipper, I always thought Wendy was like, the most messed up you could get with a crush.”

 

“I TOLD YOU IM---”

 

“Whatever, whatever. Fine. Go and deny it...but I’ve got my skepticals on,” She said making rings around her eyes with her finger and thumb. She slowly backed towards the door.

 

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out,” he grumbled, thankful she was finally relenting, at least for the night.

 

“Okay, okay. Goodnight...Mason” She grinned, watching her brother’s face flare up over 10 different shades of red. He grabbed the journal and chucked it, but she had already closed the door and ran giggling back to her room.

 

Finally alone, Dipper groaned and fell back on his bed, rubbing his eyes.

 

_Damnit she was right. He had it bad._

 

_\--_

“Your majesty has returned!” One of the watch gnomes cried, alerting the rest of the pack to their prince’s arrival. The gnomes all gathered to meet him, crying in joy when he entered the clearing, unharmed.

 

“Your majesty is safe!”

 

“Rejoice!”

 

“We were so worried about you!”

 

“SHMEBULOCK!!!”

 

Wirt lifted his hands, trying to calm his rambunctious gnomes. “Yes, yes. All is well. I have returned like I promised.”

 

The gnomes circled him, throwing questions upon questions at him.

 

“Did that nasty Dipper Pines do anything to you my lord?” Bartley asked, shaking his tiny fist.

 

“Did they use the leaf blower on you?” Jason asked, squeezing his hat tightly, face pale.

 

“Is Mabel still smoking hot?” Jeff, the youngest, purred, running his hands through his slightly graying beard. A few other gnomes whistled at this.

 

“No, no, nothing happened to me. Dipper Pines did nothing to me, there were no leaf blowers involved and---ew! Jeff, this is why you were demoted from leader.” Wirt pointed at Jeff, frowning. Jeff looked down at his feet, pouting.

 

The gnomes continued to talk over the other, and Wirt smiled. _He missed them._ Truly, this was his home, his family.

 

However, realizing he still had something he needed to get across, he lifted his hand, effectively silencing their squabbling.

 

“Now, I’m sure Bartley informed you as much as he could. I’m sure you realized I followed Dipper Pines out of the forest to apologize to his sister. His sister, Mabel Pines, who I was recently informed had been a victim of...multiple attempts of kidnapping.” At this he eyed the gnomes. They all looked away, clearing uncomfortable.

 

Wirt continued, “Now while I know that what you did was out of the kindness of your heart, and was fraught with good intentions. I have a new law to decry. From this day forth, all attempt s of kidnapping women...are prohibited!”

 

He heard multiple cries of protest. He held up his hand again, and the complaints died down. “I know you are worried about me. I know that you want me to continue my right as king, and to do that, I need a queen. I understand. But I’m sorry, this is not the way I want to go about this. Despite your protest, this law enacts tonight, and nothing will be said to sway my opinion.”

 

Bartley stepped forward, “But you majesty. Much as I value you decisions, and would never dispute your judgement...I must ask, how will you find an heir on your own? You are reclusive, and hardly leave the forest; you do not know the ways of courting!”

 

Wirt’s expression changed. For a moment, he looked wistful, and then, coming back to himself, he replied. “You are correct, which is why...I will be exploring the outside world from here thenceforth.”

 

More outcry. Shocked, confused, and nervous voices filled one after the other. It took longer to console them.

 

“Please, please, my friends!” Wirt yelled over the few remaining voices. “I know you are worried for my well being. You have raised me since I was young, so I know this must frighten you. It frightens me as well. But you are right. I know nothing about courting, nothing outside my walls. Having always stayed where I felt it safe, I never truly learned what was beyond my forest. But I am not a child anymore. If you can look for a suitor for me, then I am old enough to find one on my own. There is much of this world I have yet to explore, and understand and many relations that would benefit our kingdom if only I could build them. Which is why I have teamed up with the Pines twins to rebuild our standing with the humans.”

 

“The humans?”

 

“YOU JOINED DIPPER PINES!”

 

“Your majesty!”

 

“SHMEBULOCK!!!???”

 

“I know you are worried, but I promise you, I will be safe with them. I trust them. I believe they are good souls who know more than I ever could on my own. They have accepted me, even though I have hurt them in the past. I must try and continue this relationship with the humans, not just for me, but for all of you!”

 

The gnomes did not speak, for a very long time. Finally, Bartley stepped forward and kneeled before his king, “And you are sure of this path, my lord?”

 

Wirt nodded, “More sure than I have ever been.”

 

“And you trust them whole heartedly, even if they betray you?”

 

“I do. Besides, you have taught me all I know, I’m not as fragile as you think,” Wirt knelt before his subject, giving Bartley a friendly pat on the head. He smiled, eyes set in resolve. Bartley knew he could no longer argue.

 

With a stern expression, Bartley nodded. “Then we will follow you, undeterred!” He bowed his head.

 

The gnomes kneeled before Wirt and bowed their heads in solidarity.

 

Wirt felt the tightness in his heart lift. “Thank you all!” he cried, returning to his feet.

 

“To his majesty!” Bartley shouted in return.

 

“TO HIS MAJESTY!” The other gnomes echoed.

 

Then there was cheering and applause. Wirt blushed under their attention. He chuckled, once more tried to calm them down, though they seemed too far gone now. He sighed, hopelessly. _Truly, he missed them._

 

“Now that I have returned, please, continue amongst yourselves. I shall return to my quarters for the night, but I hope you all stay lively and well.” He waved to his people, who waved back, sending him their goodnights, and made his way to his palace, slipping through the willow leaves curtaining off his castle from the rest of the kingdom.

 

Back in the safety of his room, Wirt crumbled onto his throne, exhausted. He knew his gnomes weren’t going to take the news as well as he would like, but he hoped they would eventually come around. And that they would have enough respect for him, to follow his rules. They had never betrayed him before, all he could do was hope that would stay the same. It seemed in the end, they have had least accepted it, even if begrudgingly.

 

“Tired, my liege?” Bartley asked, having snuck in while the others were still muttering about themselves.

 

“Ah, Bartley, my trusted advisor. Like you wouldn’t believe,” He groaned, slouching in his throne. “I have to thank you Bartley.”

 

“Me?” The gnome pointed to himself in feigned shock.

 

“Without you, I don’t think the gnomes would have taken it nearly as well. It was your compliance that convinced the others.”

 

“Oh phooey,” Bartley waved his comment away, but flushed at the compliment.

 

“You truly are my closest friend and advisor.” Wirt said.

 

“Yes, yes indeed,” Bartley agreed. Then, after comfortable silence, “You majesty, you’re quite sure of this path you’re taking.”

 

Wirt nodded, “I’m sure, Bartley.”

 

“And you promise to be careful?”

 

“I promise.”

 

“And if Dipper Pines should harm you in any--”

 

“Bartley, I promise! Everything will be okay.” Wirt laughed at his friend’s concern. “I trust him.”

 

“You trust him?” Bartely repeated.

 

Wirt smiled wistfully, “I do.”

 

Bartley nodded again, solemn, “Then for his sake, I hope you’re right.”

 

Wirt laughed once more, “You worry too much.”

 

“I did raise you. I have a lot to be worried about.”

 

Wirt leaned over and ruffled his father figure’s hair. “Thank you, Bartley.”

 

“My pleasure, your majesty.”

 

And for a moment, they contended themselves to silence. Even the chatter outside could not break their bubble of calm.

 

“Bartley?”

 

“Yes, your Majesty?”

 

“...what’s porn?”

 

The gnome's eyes widened, and his mouth fell open. Wirt looked at him expectantly.

 

_Dipper Pines was a dead man._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter of Find me in the Garden! I'm on a roll.
> 
> I love writing Gnome Wirt. Just his whole interactions and childlike wonder at the outside world is so fun and pure to write. And I also find myself loving the gnomes. Like I know they're not good, but they're really fun to write, and their dynamic with Wirt is interesting. I can't wait to write more of them. Like, they're going to be the main antagonist of this story, so I have plenty of time to get used to them, and build them more. 
> 
> Mabel's so fun to write older, I like making her more sassy and slightly more lewd. She would grow up to be a lot like her voice actress, Kristen Schaal.
> 
> Dipper is a Bi disaster. But what else is new?
> 
> Please let me know what you think. I can't wait to write more!

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first series I've done in a long time, so I'm very nervous. But also committed to finishing the series.
> 
> Based on Frostios' Gnome Prince Au: http://frostios.tumblr.com/post/129187421338/day-3-gnome-prince-au-i-honestly-dont-know-much (Seriously, check it out!)
> 
> The first Chapter focuses heavily on her comic from beginning to end.
> 
> I put this series mature even though the first chapters are teen. I have some ideas of where this story is going, so If I decide to go that direction, the rating will end up being mature. Themes like Horror, Trauma, Gore and even sex might come up. So I just put it as Mature as a precaution. If this is something you don't want or would feel uncomfortable with reading, you can stop after the first chapter, as the first chapter is harmless.
> 
> This is mainly Pinescone. Dipper and Wirt are young adults in this; Dipper 19, Wirt 21. I'm promise to state this more clearly in upcoming chapters.
> 
> I want to thank so many of my followers who have been kind to me over the years. I really appreciate all who read my story, I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know if you'd like me to continue (I am regardless, but your support still means so much). Leaving comments would mean the world to me. And Constructive criticisms are welcome as I know there are things that I always need to come back to and fix.


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